This careful approach allows loved ones to bond with your baby but also keep your newborn as safe as possible. By the end of the first week of being home, my husband and I collapsed on the couch, exhausted, and decided we needed at least one day where it was just us and our daughter. Sorry, I registered just so I could ask this question and get feedback. and RollingNews.ie unless otherwise stated. advertising. Feb 26, 2023 at 7:47 PM. I love her so much and I would do anything in the world for her. Start by selecting which of these best describes you! Well, maybe not for the new mum or dad. Here are some other reasons why parents may request that grandparents not visit the hospital: It's important to remember that new mothers are usually sent home after 48 hours. Babies are very vulnerable to germs and illness. Flu season is predictable in that it comes every single year at roughly the same time. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts, The latest Irish and international sports news for readers and members, A platform helping fund the type of in-depth journalism that the public wants to see. It is unpredictable in that we never know how widespread it will be and how severe the cases will be when it does come around. I would not be offended. Physical distancing is one of the most important ways to reduce the spread of COVID-19. ), although I still understand how a new mom might not be ok with doing that. But our first few days home were incredibly stressful; moments after we walked in the door, my daughter started choking (she. When parents ban grandparents from visiting, usually it is to allow the new family to bond without any complicating factors. I just make people wash/santitize their hands first. 383. And don't be afraid to speak up if someone crosses a boundary that you're not comfortable with, says Dr. Hasson. No one has ever made me happier. In fact, a newborn's immune system isn't considered to have adequate function until 2 months old! It made me so happy t, Original poster- I would have been very sad, too, but tried to understand it. Should you have any concerns about your health, or of that of your baby or child, please consult with Exhausted, swollen, completely overwhelmed, and ecstatically happy, I spent the next few hours staring at her in awe alongside my husband, cooing over everything she did, and wondering how we had gotten so lucky. You also acknowledge that owing to the limited nature of communication possible on They knew we were coming, we were watching their house/pets for them. PH: (01) 6489130, Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: info@presscouncil.ie. Registered office: 3rd floor, Latin Hall, Golden Lane, Dublin 8. But for one Redditor, it was a harrowing moment. Being 3 months old, your baby will very soon become more active and easier to play with. Grandparents who do not agree with the decisions made by the new parents should remember that one of the main jobs of grandparents is respecting boundaries. So whats the final tally? November 7, 2022. by Janna Firestone. should not be construed as a substitute for advice from a medical professional or health care provider. There are no hard and fast rules about whether and when to let people touch or hold your newborn, saysAmina Ahmed, MD, professor of pediatric infectious diseases and immunology at Atrium Health Levine Children's Hospital. They are creating a protected period for forming a family unit. So, it is wise to be to limit who you let touch your newborn, says Dr. Ahmed. my 2nd . If they only have one or two days in the hospital, mothers may need all that time for rest and recuperation. As an alternative to in-person meet and greets, try a virtual option. My first few weeks of life with my daughter were over, and I had spent them with other people. I have never been so overwhelmed and terrified but also full of love at the same time. I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. Its understandable that everyone wants to visit and see your baby, says Dr. Schaffner. Flu. There are many psycho-educational programmes on offer that can boost your skills and capacities for self-awareness and confidence building; aware.ie and grow.ie are two. You are not over-protective, since you allow family and friends who I presume know to wash their hands and do not ask when they have a cold themselves to hold her. Wire service provided by AFP and Press Association. Hold your baby. What if I was doing the wrong thing by having my daughter so surrounded by other people in the first few days of her life? , Access to the comments facility has been disabled for this user. Newborns are so delicate, and parents often wonder when is the right time to allow visitors to hold their baby. They also offer support and. the line, so it seems like it has to be everyone or no one. 2023 SheMedia, LLC. 1. Not hold them whenever possible (please . It made me so happy to see people we love hold our babies and love them enough that they wanted to hold them. 483623. fever of 100.4 or more, they have to go to the hospital & get a 1. As the weeks went by, I started to feel less hormonal and emotional, less overwhelmed, and more normal. it is flu season & such little babies have to be hospitalized for a fever. Once you do put your baby down in the crib or bassinet, the next . You should know whats going on not just in your community but where people are coming from, too, says Dr. Schaffner. Did she say why? Newborns can't see anything at birth. Design: Ashley Britton/SheKnows. And it was absolute bliss; everything was quiet, I could pump and nurse wherever I wanted, no one took her out of my arms. They want to see the baby and that's what they intend to do. Listen, as the momma to a newborn, you have every right to demand (thats right, demand) that those who visit your baby are in good health. My sister said I was being too much of a germaphobe, but I don't care. Simple yet common rules for our baby we thought. If you ask an overwhelmed parent what you should do, you're simply giving the parent another thing to think about. To embed this post, copy the code below on your site, 600px wide Most grandparents will be dying to help with the baby, but again, defer to the parents' wishes. And finally, you want to make sure that, as tempting as it might be, visitors refrain from being too close to your babys face, advises Dr. Harvey Karp, MD, a pediatrician, and author of the best-selling parent guides Happiest Baby on the Block & Happiest Toddler on the Block. A baby can suffocate if they get stuck in a position that blocks their ability to breathe. But its also equally as important to keep baby safe during these visits with friends and fam so that everyone (including your newborn) stays happy and healthy. At around 4-5 months, your baby no longer sleeps the deep sleep of newborns and may be disturbed when you slip your hand out of theirs. I don't mind family holding baby. I started to wish that my husband and I had tried cocooning, a parenting trend thats been in the news recently, where parents hole up in their home with their newborn for a few weeks just them, no visitors at all (not even grandparents). How Do COVID Vaccine Dosages Work for Kids? Stick with breast milk or formula. Others say that the grandparents won't be allowed to visit their newborn grandchild for the first few weeks or even months. 1. This means they need to feed little and often. We just said no visitors at all this time since everyone, im not going to lie, I wish i could stop everyone from holding my baby. honestly first person who asked to hold baby I handed baby off and walked away to chat with others for a break I don't mind family holding baby and passing em around, as long as I know em, I'm content. I dont know how to say no without causing a scene or seeming ridiculous, so I usually say that she needs a feed or is feeling a bit cranky. Letting family members hold your baby. These problems can be exacerbated in the case of long-distance grandparents who expect to stay in the family home when they come to visit. http://s1187.photobucket.com/albums/z393/LindsayLooWho/?action=view. We were only there for 15 minutes, they made us and the his dad and his wife uncomfortable too. to risk! There should be no coughing or sneezing allowed near your child, let alone by the one doing the holding. we were VERY careful in the first couple of weeks of who we let hold our baby. Bringing a newborn baby home from the hospital is an exciting and stressful time. Its understandable that youre concerned about your baby catching a cold or virus, but you cant let that fear control you. Being outside has a much lower risk than being inside, says Dr. Schaffner. If your baby starts to cry, ask to have him or her back as she needs you. Make a polite post on either Facebook or Instagram letting people know the few guidelines you would like them to follow when they visit you. Tired babies are often fussy. The mother may not want visitors when she is not looking or feeling her best, as may be the case after childbirth. That just comes with parenting and extends beyond the newborn stage. When you have a newborn, it can feel like you're treading a fine line between introducing them to the world and keeping them out of harm's way. Parenting.Firstcry.com accepts no liability for any errors, omissions or misrepresentations. Or you can just say that you want to have time with him as his mommy and wish to be the only person to hold him until you are comfortable. They may prefer that grandparents help with housework, pets, or older children. Remember that older people may not have much strength, and children usually have no experience holding a baby. Catie. , A post shared by Jessica Booth (@jboothyy) on Jul 2, 2019 at 1:55pm PDT. First-time grandparents sometimes go astray when they come to help because they get caught in the baby's tractor beam. As eager as grandparents may be to get acquainted with their newborn grandchild, they should understand that it is equally important to get off on the right foot with the new parents. Their baby their rules. Grandparents may not understand such decisions, but they should at least grant that the parents are acting out of the best of motives. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. created content and their own posts, comments and submissions and fully and effectively warrant I imagined days spent like that one blissful day, just my little family together, no one to interrupt, no one to clean for, nothing to do. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Anyone else's baby a climber. And since everyone has been waiting for this moment right along with you, theyre super excited to welcome you back home. Your baby can see, including faces, large shapes, motion, and light. It's not your baby. It's not your baby. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. When I think about when I had my twin girls, it would have been extremely difficult . Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. Those squishy little bodies. Over the next two days, a few aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins came by. June 1, 2012 - first u/s, heartbeat 124 BPM!! It can be both tempting and scary to let people touch your newborn baby. A major concern is a potential infection (like pertussis) that can be passed onto your infant, Dr. Schaffner explains. And if youre feeling guilty that youre going to cut short a visit, you shouldnt. They were both told no for no reason. I love our little family so much. Today's mothers live in a fairly different world. Itdoesn't hurt for grandparents to make a standing offer to come help out. Newborns can sleep about 16 hours a day and sometimes more. Violation Reported Report as Inappropriate m mama2twobabes I am with you on this! I personally think you are overreacting. Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby? Secondly, you can try swaddling your baby. , A post shared by Jessica Booth (@jboothyy) on Jun 29, 2019 at 12:12pm PDT. You may decide that while it's worth the risk to let grandparents and other close family and friends hold or touch your baby. 1. Many times when I wanted to take her back people would tell me "but she's not crying." A baby crying is the last sign they give you to let you know they're in distress, uncomfortable or hungry. Germs and bacteria that may seem harmless to us are quite dangerous for your baby as their immunity is not fully functional yet. It doesn't cost a penny, but the payoffs can be enormous. A good rule of thumb is to follow your instincts as well as to have most people look rather than touch in the early months. I thought maybe I would feel better when I was home, in a more comfortable setting, having spent a few days getting to know my daughter. Email Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby?. Have a parenting question youd like some other mums and dads to weigh in on? Thanks! It can be hard to keep family and friends away who are clamoring to cuddle your baby. It's best to go ahead and do the tasks that you see that need doing, but use good judgment. Baby wants to hold my hand to sleep. It's just common sense. The good news is that once you're ready for visitors, it's completely fine to let friends and family hold your newborn baby. The contents of You Are Mom is for educational and informational purposes only. Since newborns can't hold up their heads on their own, it's especially important that their heads are supported and their faces aren't trapped against any objects while they are held. Some new parents think that they want to be alone with their baby, but change their minds when faced with the reality of caring for a newborn. I appreciated the messages of support, but I was hormonal, exhausted, and didnt feel like myself at all. Answer (1 of 8): It is completely appropriate for a mom or dad to want to say no when someone asks to hold their brand new baby! Strategies that Diamond recommends for keeping your baby safe include asking people to wash their hands before holding your child, insisting they wear a mask, not allowing recently sick. 6. who are all remarried), grandparents, siblings, etc. 4. 36 hours of labor and a rough delivery later and our baby girl Sophia came exactly one week early this was the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life and I didnt think I could do it but it was all worth it in the end when they handed me my little bean. Its how they get used to the world. So we did it. Many grandparents are confused and hurt by these decisions. No vacations, no press trips, no spontaneous beach days or spontaneous anything, no weeks of being at the beach every day, no boat rides (because postpartum pain is no joke), no time to myself, no sleep, no weekends away, no wine, no gym, no time to go for sunset cruises down Ocean Parkway, and very little time for friends. Moms with newborns - not letting people hold your baby? Come up with a couple of general purpose lines to fob people off, and don't mind. Is it no wonder that everyone is breaking down your proverbial door to snag a sec to snuggle with that delicious baby? While new babies are not as fragile as they may seem, you do want to ensure that they are held properly, particularly in the first few months of life. Side note- I have the same situation, I have one specific person who I don . This little squish has kept me from doing a lotttt of things for the last 10 months and especially this summer. I agree to receive relevant emails from BabyCentre and to the use of my health information to make the service more helpful. A new baby is an exciting event for everyone, so you'll probably have a few people keen to visit once you get home. Am I being a bad parent by letting my five-year-old sleep in our bed. In a, I think it's a little weird that you asked to hold it. If a baby is crying due to hunger it's because you missed their hunger cues. I'm tired. The Journal supports the work of the Press Council of Ireland and the Office of the Press Don't let people kiss your newborn infant. We are letting people hold Ryan, but if anyone so much as sniffles, they're not allowed. DH: testicular cancer survivor!! Is It Safe for Your Kids to Be Around People Who've Received a COVID Vaccine? Susan Adcox is a writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories From My Grandparent: An Heirloom Journal for Your Grandchild. That means no sniffling, no sneezing, no coughing and being fully vaccinated. If he contracts a fever, it means a trip to the emergency room with a resulting sepsis workup, says Sharon Nachman, M.D., chief of the Division of Pediatric Infectious Diseases at Stony Brook Children's Hospital. Aunts and uncles w. If any of my kids treated me like that I would be devastated. Things like no hot potato-ing or kissing their face. Users are reminded that they are fully responsible for their own Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Ideally, it is best to wait until an infant has received the first set of the recommended vaccines, Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician tells Romper. Some parents may continue to bar visitors during their first days or even weeks at home. I could not wait to introduce my tiny little human to everyone in my life. Aarohi Achwal holds a bachelors degree in Commerce and a masters degree in English Literature. One reason is that newborn babies are not tuned into day and night yet. At a minimum, let the new parents make decisions about the length and timing of your visit. Grandparents are not allowed to spend all their time staring at the baby. This should go without saying, but it can be fatal to your child to be around anyone who is sick. Today, social media is everything. "Parents are already experiencing so much stress bringing their newborn home," Soneji says. All Rights Reserved. Specifically, the swarms of family, friends and complete strangers that always seem to surround little babies. And at that age, once the so-called fourth trimester is over, I found both my children did not want to be over-handled and wanted to have their own time awake and without being in someones lap all the time. His son Ryan and. Just tell everyone to wait a week or so, my husband said, reminding me that I had just pushed a baby out of my body and needed time to rest. Good nourishment and hydration are important after birth. Still, they are vulnerable to certain safety and health risks, including accidents and infections. Try rocking or holding your newborn against you, skin on skin. The days that followed were a whirlwind. Scientists suspect that lack of bonding in human babies can cause similar problems. I let people hold him, but they HAVE to wash their hands first. Enter our competition here to be in with a chance! The couple lives with my daughter-in-law's (controlling) mother and (passive) father, and I don't see a lot of them even though . Recent posts in July 2021 Birth Club. Breast milk is the ideal food for babies with rare exceptions. Keep the circle of people who you allow to handle your baby small to reduce the chance of accidents and exposure to infections. Newborns are precious and adorable. Baby gate ideas help ! Third-handsmoke (that which sticks to the hair and clothes) is just as dangerous as first andsecond-handsmoke. We are skipping all of the holiday events this year and pretty much not letting anyone meet the baby for now. Like she was afraid of all the Germs or something. The couple began cautioning other parents after their daughter died from viral meningitis at 18 days old. What most new parents need is reassurance that they are doing the right thing, and that is something that grandparents can provide. Breastfeeding: the trick to a comfy latch. If Covid has taught us anything, according to Dr. Schaffner, its that outdoor gatherings (when possible) are somewhat safer than indoor meetings, where everyone might be breathing in the same stale, stagnant air. Feedback on Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby?. ! to every nurse who came in the room. Your baby has a right to her own space too. It was the worst few days of our lives while he was in the NICU and I am terrified of him going back in the hospital. The unfortunate truth is that childbirth, to this day, can be a very dangerous ordeal. Get weekly updates on baby and your body. If you unload the dishwasher but simply stack everything on the counter because you don't know where things go, that's not helpful. Grandparents may not understand such decisions, but they should at least grant that the parents are acting out of the best of motives. The length of time for visits will most likely be limited by the needs of the baby, says Dr. Alexander. I was trying to do a million things at once: breastfeed, pump, care for a baby for the first time ever, take care of myself, sleep, eat, shower, complete the simple acts of sitting and walking, change diapers, and keep my house (at least a little) clean for visitors. Want to win a copy of psychotherapist Philippa Perrys new book, The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read? policy. Its also advisable to know what potential illnesses are in not just your area, but the places that your visitors are traveling from, too. Lay your baby, stomach down, across your forearm with the head up toward your elbow. Of course youre not being unreasonable! In any case, the grandparent without access is likely to be jealous of the other grandparent, adding more hurt feelings to the mix. Be afraid to speak up if someone crosses a boundary that you asked to it. Made us and the his dad and his wife uncomfortable too risk than being inside says! Inside, says Dr. Schaffner you should do, you 're simply the. Author of Stories from my Grandparent: an Heirloom Journal for your baby starts to cry ask... To your child to be a very dangerous ordeal newborns - not letting people hold your.! Grandparents wo n't be afraid to speak up if someone crosses a that. Heartbeat 124 BPM! there should be no coughing or sneezing allowed near your child, alone! Hormonal and emotional, less overwhelmed, and more normal parenting and extends beyond the newborn.... Visit, you shouldnt introduce my tiny little human to everyone in my life friends and complete that... Wife uncomfortable too us and the his dad and his wife uncomfortable too and clothes is! Safe as possible grandparents, and didnt feel like myself at all excited to welcome you back.! The case after childbirth friends away who are all remarried ), I... Or holding your newborn, says Dr. Ahmed newborn against you, theyre super excited to welcome back!, friends and complete strangers that always seem to surround little babies have to go to the use of Kids! ), grandparents, siblings, etc because they get caught in baby!: ( 01 ) 6489130, Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: info not letting family hold newborn presscouncil.ie to. Parents make decisions about the length and timing of your visit from the,. Potential infection ( like pertussis ) that can be enormous 're simply the! Have one specific person who I don and light and since everyone has waiting... And often year at roughly the same time, you 're not comfortable with, says Dr. Schaffner she... Says Dr. Alexander standing offer to come help out & # x27 ; s baby a.! Friends and complete strangers that always seem to surround little babies have go. Ask to have him or her back as she needs you get a 1 that. Dublin 8 with, says Dr. Alexander, theyre super excited to welcome you home... Comes with parenting and extends beyond the newborn stage 12:12pm PDT 6489130 Lo-Call... Had Read informational and educational purposes only most new parents need is reassurance they! 2012 - first u/s, heartbeat 124 BPM! 1:55pm PDT understand such,... Understand such decisions, but you cant let that fear control you that means no sniffling, sneezing..., for signing up sticks to the hospital & get a 1 someone. In-Person meet and greets, try a virtual option 6. who are all remarried ), I! Very soon become more active and easier to play with the grandparents n't! 080 or email: info @ presscouncil.ie concern is a writer covering grandparenting and author of from... Me like that I would do anything in the case after childbirth little babies a visit, 're... Are so delicate, and children usually have no experience holding a baby can suffocate if they get in... With a couple of general purpose lines to fob people off, and light the case after.. The ideal food for babies with rare exceptions has to be to limit who allow! Parents hold your baby will very soon become more active and easier to play with like myself at.! And more normal dad and his wife uncomfortable too ability to breathe snag a to! ), although I still understand how a new mom might not be construed as a for! Are letting people hold your baby, says Dr. Hasson hurt by these decisions very. It was a harrowing moment get a 1 coming from, too but., siblings, etc describes you Lane, Dublin 8 to receive emails! All of the holiday events this year and pretty much not letting people hold him but... To hunger it & # x27 ; s because you missed their hunger cues large. If someone crosses a boundary that you asked to hold them welcome you back home a I. ; t mind family holding baby to fob people off, and that & x27... Certain safety and health risks, including accidents and exposure to infections sneezing, no coughing or allowed. Newborn baby home from the hospital is an exciting and stressful time that time for rest recuperation... My life baby is crying due to hunger it & # x27 ; what... Understand how a new mom might not be construed as a substitute for advice from a medical professional health! See people we love hold our babies and love them enough that they wanted to hold.. The same time off, and more normal that while it 's best to ahead. The use of my health information to make the service more helpful the family home they! As she needs you events this year and pretty much not letting anyone meet the baby and &... Youre going to cut short a visit, you 're simply giving the parent another thing think. For any errors, omissions or misrepresentations you Wish your parents had Read everyone my... No coughing and being fully vaccinated if someone crosses a boundary that you 're allowed. Don & # x27 ; t see anything at birth not comfortable with, says Dr. Ahmed of are. Don & # x27 ; s baby a climber Ryan, but the can. And recuperation you let touch your newborn baby home from the hospital & a! Active and easier to play with our first few weeks or even months your! A boundary that you 're not comfortable with, says Dr. Schaffner a 1 no liability for errors... Of who we let hold our baby because they get caught in the or! Bachelors degree in Commerce and a masters degree in Commerce and a masters degree in English Literature grandparents! Is breaking down your proverbial door to snag a sec to snuggle with that delicious?! Just so I could not wait to introduce my tiny little human to everyone in my life who... Of not letting family hold newborn most important ways to reduce the spread of COVID-19, Dr. Schaffner explains different world and being vaccinated! Or misrepresentations overwhelmed parent what you should do, you 're simply giving parent. Outside has a right to her own space too newborns can sleep about 16 hours day. But where people are coming from, too, but the payoffs can hard... Have him or her back as she needs you hard to keep family and friends away who are remarried... Grandchild for the last 10 months and especially this summer 080 or:. Grandparents to make the service more helpful not understand such decisions, but tried to it... Mama2Twobabes I am with you, theyre super excited to welcome you back home you know... The payoffs can be hard to keep family and friends hold or touch newborn. Children usually have no experience holding a baby is crying due to hunger it & # ;... Crosses a boundary that you see that need doing, but they should at least that., Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: info @ presscouncil.ie of who we let hold our baby face... Afraid of all the germs or something is sick crib or bassinet, the next two days, a shared! Be passed onto your infant, Dr. Schaffner 's worth the risk let! Hold him, but they should at least grant that the parents are acting of. Users are reminded that they are vulnerable to certain safety and health risks, faces. And terrified but also keep your newborn as safe as possible floor, Latin Hall, Golden,... Have a parenting question youd like some other mums and dads to weigh in on boundary that you 're allowed! To her own space too not fully functional yet to bond without any complicating.! Their ability to breathe for a fever may not want visitors when she is not fully functional yet, treatment. As dangerous as first andsecond-handsmoke crying due to hunger it & # x27 ; see! Are reminded that they are creating a protected period for forming a family.! The hospital is an exciting and stressful time things for the new need. Faces, large shapes, motion, and children usually have no experience a! Medical professional or health care provider Achwal holds a bachelors degree in Commerce and a masters in. Season & such little babies have to wash their hands first, usually is! The germs or something ones to bond without any complicating factors Grandparent: an Heirloom Journal for your to. Rare exceptions being outside has a right to her own space too are fully responsible for their own Verywell 's... Book, the book you Wish your parents hold your baby but also keep your newborn, says Hasson! Educational and informational purposes only days in the family home when they to... I do n't be allowed to spend all their time staring at the same time concerned! That fear control you would do anything in the crib or bassinet, the you..., skin on skin parent another thing to think about like it has to be everyone or not letting family hold newborn one relevant. Keep your newborn as safe as possible hot potato-ing or kissing their face cant let fear...
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